Thursday, October 20, 2016

{Book Spotlight} Scooter Nation Unapologetic Lives (Book Two) by A.B. Funkhauser

Scooter Nation
Unapologetic Lives: Book Two
A.B. Funkhauser
Genre: Gonzo Mortuary Revenge Fiction
Publisher: Solstice Publishing
Date of Publication: March 11, 2016
ISBN: 1625263473, 978-1625263476
Number of pages:  194
Word Count: 48,854
Cover Artist: Michelle Crocker

Book Description:

Aging managing director Charlie Forsythe begins his work day with a phone call to Jocasta Binns, the unacknowledged illegitimate daughter of Weibigand Funeral Home founder Karl Heinz Sr. Alma Wurtz, a scooter bound sextenarian, community activist, and neighborhood pain in the ass is emptying her urine into the flower beds, killing the petunias. Jocasta cuts him off, reminding him that a staff meeting has been called. Charlie, silenced, is taken aback: he has had no prior input into the meeting and that, on its own, makes it sinister.

The second novel in the Unapologetic Lives series, Scooter Nation takes place two years after Heuer Lost and Found. This time, funeral directors Scooter Creighton and Carla Moretto Salinger Blue take center stage as they battle conflicting values, draconian city by-laws, a mendacious neighborhood gang bent on havoc, and a self-absorbed fitness guru whose presence shines an unwanted light on their quiet Michigan neighborhood.

Geo Buy     Walmart     Amazon     Solstice Publishing     BN



The old humpback with the cloudy eye and Orwellian proletarian attitude pushed past the young embalmer with a curt “Entschuldigen Sie bitte!—Excuse me!” That Charles E. Forsythe, bespectacled and too tall for his own good, didn’t speak a word of German was incidental. The man grunting at him, or, more accurately, through him was Weibigand senior embalmer Heino Schade, who’d been gossiped about often enough at Charlie’s previous place of employ: “Weibigand’s,” the hairdresser had winked knowingly, “is like a Stalag. God only knows where the lampshades come from.” 
Whether she was referring to Schade specifically or the Weibigand’s generally didn’t matter. What he gleaned from the talk and what he took with him when he left to go work for them was that he was not expected to understand, only to follow orders.
Schade, muttering over a cosmetic pot that wouldn’t open, suddenly tossed it; the airborne projectile missing Charlie’s black curls by inches. Jumping out of the way, he wondered what to do next.
Newly arrived from Seltenheit and Sons, his new master’s most capricious competitor, expectations that he perform beyond the norm were high. Trading tit for tat, his old boss Hartmut Fläche had fought and lost battles with Karl Heinz Senior since 1937, and wasn’t about to abandon the bad feeling, even as he approached his ninetieth year. That his star apprentice had left under a tenacious cloud to go work for the enemy would no doubt hasten old Harty’s resolve to plot every last Weibigand into the ground before he got there first.
It was incumbent upon Charlie, therefore, to dish some dirt hopefully juicy enough to shutter Seltenheit and Son’s for good.
Stories of the two funeral directors’ acrimony were legend: late night calls to G-men during the war asserting that Weibigand was a Nazi; anonymous reports to the Board of Mortuary Science that Fläche reused caskets; hints at felonious gambling; price-fixing; liquor-making; tax evading; wife swapping; cross dressing; pet embalming; covert sausage making; smokehouses; whore houses; Commie-loving; Semite-hating; and drug using sexual merry-making of an unwholesomeness so heinous as to not be spoken of, but merely communicated through raised eyebrows, was just a scratch.
Ducking under the low rise water pipes that bisected Weibigand’s ceiling in the lower service hall, Charlie shuddered with the thought of retributive action, if only because old men were scary and he was still young. At twenty, he had finished his requisite course requirements, albeit at an advanced age. A lot of the guys were finishing at seventeen, only to be packed off to Vietnam. But Charlie had been delayed by way of the family pig farm which in many ways, could save his hide in a pinch. As the eldest male in a houseful of women, running the farm made him essential if the Draft ever became an issue. It hadn’t so far—he was too old, the 1950 and up birthdates pulled by lot would never include his. Yet he was haunted by the prospect of a violent end.
His mother—a gentle soul who knew the Old Testament chapter and verse—never missed an opportunity to discourage his dreams for a life in the city. This only aggravated matters. He was different, and he knew it. For that reason, he had to leave.
“You’ll wind up in hell if you try,” she said fondly, every time he negotiated the subject. In the end, it was a kick in the ass from the toothless old neighbor that sent him running far and fast off the front porch: “Yer not like the others, are ya sweetie?”
 “Don’t expect an easy time from the Missus,” Heino Schade said offhandedly from his vantage over a pasty deceased.
“Mrs. Weibigand?” Charlie asked, noting that the old man used Madame Dubarry commercial cosmetic in place of the heavy pancake Seltenheit’s favored.
“You assisted her out of a particularly difficult situation. She will expect more as a show of your constant devotion.” He knocked his glass eye back into place with a long spring forceps.
Charlie understood. He hadn’t expected a call from the Lodge that infamous night, but then, it wasn’t every day that a good friend of the Potentate was found dead in a hotel room under a hooker.
“In flagrante delicto,” Schade continued ominously in what appeared to be Latin.
“Indeed,” Charlie said, faking a working knowledge of the dead language; the unfamiliar term, he guessed, having more to do with what Karl Heinz Weibigand was doing with a woman in a seedy hotel room, than his desire to ask Schade how he made his dead look so dewy.

About the Author: 

Toronto born author A.B. Funkhauser is a funeral director, classic car nut and wildlife enthusiast living in Ontario, Canada. Like most funeral directors, she is governed by a strong sense of altruism fueled by the belief that life chooses us and we not it. 

Her debut novel Heuer Lost and Found, released in April 2015, examines the day to day workings of a funeral home and the people who staff it. Winner of the Preditors & Editors Reader’s Poll for Best Horror 2015, and the New Apple EBook Award 2016 for Horror, Heuer Lost and Found is the first installment in Funkhauser’s Unapologetic Lives series. Her sophomore effort, Scooter Nation, released March 11, 2016 through Solstice Publishing. Winner of the New Apple Ebook Award 2016 for Humor, Scooter has also been nominated for Best Humor Summer Indie Book Awards 2016.

A devotee of the gonzo style pioneered by the late Hunter S. Thompson, Funkhauser attempts to shine a light on difficult subjects by aid of humorous storytelling. “In gonzo, characters operate without filters which means they say and do the kinds of things we cannot in an ordered society. Results are often comic but, hopefully, instructive.” 

Funkhauser is currently working on Shell Game, a subversive feline “whodunit” begun during NaNoWriMo 2015.

Amazon Author Page:
Google Plus:
The Complete Scooter Q&A:

Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Halloween Reading

With Halloween right around the corner I want to share a couple series that will get you into the spooky mood. I'm not one who like a lot of gore in my books, I prefer more spooks and ghostly investigations. So I want to share with you all two series that I absolutely love and are perfect to put you into the ghost hunting mood. 

The first is called Taryn's Camera series by Rebecca Patrick-Howard, the premises of this series is Taryn is an artist who specializes in old houses. She has a talent for painting them as they were in their hay day. While photographing an old house she realizes that her trusty camera, Miss Dixie, is actually showing her what the houses looked like in the past.  Armed with Miss Dixie Taryn tries to figure out what the houses and their ghosts are trying to tell her. 

So each book, there are six in the series, takes place at a different location and Taryn takes on new ghosts.

The first book in this series is a freebie on kindle, after reading it I had to get the rest of the series. Ellie is a paranormal investigator, simple as that. Each of the books is a different case. The kicker is there is a lot of other stuff going on so you have to read the series in order.
 Book 7 in the series just came out and I can't wait to read it, but have to as I have a bunch of reviews to do first.

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

{Review} True Grit Protein Chocolate Milkshake

Disclaimer: I received a sample as part of my JackedPack to review for free.  As always, all opinions are my own.

I wasn't crazy about this protein powder. I received a sample package containing 3 serving from JackedPack. I mixed it up in my Blenderbottle and it had kind of a froth on top with clumps in it. You can see what I'm talking about in the picture. 

The flavor was ok, I mean it tasted like chocolate milk, nothing to write home about. This contains 25 grams of protein, plus BCAAs which are good. There's just nothing super special about this powder.

Sunday, October 16, 2016

Sunday Cup of...

Welcome to Sunday Cup of... grab your favorite beverage and visit with me for a bit.
Sunday Cup of... is a combination post featuring, 
The Sunday Post Hosted by Caffeinated Book Reviewer
It’s Monday! What Are You Reading?  Hosted by Book Date
and the Book Blog Hop hosted by Ramblings of a coffee addicted writer.
I share my week, what's going on around the blog, and what books I'm reading or have finished.

 Since I was laid up last week with a migraine, your getting a two-fer this week. Last Friday the family had a really nice day out we went to the local cider mill and got apple cider doughnuts, pumpkins, and of course apple cider.  We also took a drive out by the river and walked around an old lighthouse then a small park actually on the river, where we could watch the boats. We saw a couple of ships pass, and I took pictures of both the ships and Bolt Castle, an area attraction.  On the way home we stopped and walked around one of the old local cemeteries. 

View from light house.

One of the ships passing Bolt Castle

This week nada.

So last week on the blog...
Monday, October 3, 2016

{Book Review} Haunted Boston Harbor by Sam Baltrusis
{Spotlight} Lucy Trilogy by LM Pruitt

Tuesday, October 4, 2016

{Book Feature} Gryphon’s Passing by Krista M. Carlson

Wednesday, October 5, 2016

{Book Spotlight} Through the Veil (The Aisling Chronicles: Book One) by Colleen Halverson

Thursday, October 6, 2016
{Review} Maxler 100% Golden Whey, Milk Chocolate

Friday, October 7, 2016
{Book Blitz} Savage Prophet (The Yancy Lazarus Series: Book 4) by James A. Hunter

Saturday, October 8, 2016
Weekly Update

This week on the blog...
Monday, October 10, 2016
{Cover Reveal} The Year of Loving by Traci L. Slatton
{Spotlight} Morgaine Le Fay and the Viking (The Viking Series: Book One) by Kimbra Kasch

Saturday, October 15, 2016

All links go to Goodreads pages

What I'm Reading... 

Fool Moon (The Dresden Files, #2)
Fool Moon (The Dresden Files #2)
by Jim Butcher

Storm Front (The Dresden Files #1)
by Jim Butcher

The Leavenworth Case (Mr. Gryce #1)
by Anna Katharine Green

Death by Roses
by Vivian R. Probst

The Grey Woman
The Grey Woman

by Elizabeth Gaskell

Started watching the Exorcist and Monster Bug Wars. 

Book Blogger Hop
I will also be joining the Book Blogger Hop hosted by Ramblings of a coffee addicted writer. Every week they will pop a question that you answer. Post your answer to your blog, and enter your post to the linky provided. Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy.

This weeks question:

 You come across an old library that has the one book you've been searching for for years, but the library happens to be haunted by ghosts. Would you go into the library to find the book? (submitted by Billy)

I could go into a long winded thing about it depends on what kind of ghosts, and blah blah blah. But short answer yeah. I'd risk going in. Although depending on what happens I might mail the book back.

So that's it for this week, hope you'll stop by next Sunday. Have a great week!

Saturday, October 15, 2016

Weekly Update

I'll also be sharing on...

 Weekly Wrap hosted by HoHo Runs and MissSippiPiddlin
and trying out a new link up a Sunday Fitness and Food Linkup hosted by Ilka from Ilka’s Blog and Angela from Marathons & Motivation

This week was a total bust. I spent Saturday in bed, pretty much all day, with a horrid migraine. I'm not sure if it's the weather change, yucky and cold, or me but I've had no energy and just felt like crud. Here's hoping I can pick up the challenges where I left off soon. I did squeeze in my Frankenstien 5k from US Road Running on Monday and signed up for the I solemnly swear that I am up to no good Virtual Run from Level Up.

10/8/16: Sick
10/9/16: Didn't want to push it
10/10/16: Ran 3.50 mi in 23:55 mins (my Frankenstein 5k)
10/11/16: Nope
10/12/16: Nada
10/13/16: Nothing
10/14/16: Got Groceries

Friday, October 14, 2016

{Book Blitz} Jubal Van Zandt and the Revenge of the Bloodslinger by eden Hudson

Jubal Van Zandt and the Revenge of the Bloodslinger
A Jubal Van Zandt Novel 
Episode 1
eden Hudson 
Genre: Urban Fantasy / Cyber Punk
Publisher: Shadow Alley Press Inc.
Date of Publication: October 14, 2016
Number of pages: Approx. 265
Cover Artist: Lou Harper 

Book Description:

Narcissist, sociopath, and shameless backstabber Jubal Van Zandt is the best damn thief in the history of the Revived Earth...and he won't shut up about it.

But not everybody in the swampy, soggy, feudal future approves of Jubal's vocation. The Guild—the religious fanatics who helped rebuild civilization after the collapse—in particular are waiting for their opportunity to slip the noose around his neck.

Which is why when the renowned Guild knight Carina Xiao—a.k.a. the Bloodslinger—contacts Jubal about an off-the-books job that violates Guild Law, he's too intrigued to say no. He is the best damn thief in the history of the Revived Earth, after all.

Part bizarro ecopunk, part outworld thriller, part odd-couple roadtrip, Jubal Van Zandt and the Revenge of the Bloodslinger is a 150% futurepunk quest for blood and betrayal across the Revived Earth.

About the Author:
I am invincible. I am a mutant. I have 3 hearts and was born with no eyes. I had eyes implanted later. I didn't have hands, either, just stumps. When my eyes were implanted they asked if I would like hands as well and I said, "Yes, I'll take those," and pointed with my stump. But sometimes I'm a hellbender peeking out from under a rock. When it rains, I live in a music box.

But I'm also a tattoo-addict, coffee-junkie, drummer, and aspiring skateboarder. Jesus actually is my homeboy.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

{Cover Reveal} Alaskan Den Men Christmas Special

October 11, 2016

Enjoy three new Alaskan Den Men novels this holiday season from authors Talina Perkins, Amy Lamont and Jennifer Hilt. 

Snowbound with Her Christmas Bear 
Talina Perkins 
Release Date: November 29, 2016 

No strings attached holiday vacation sex was just what the doctored ordered. While visiting over the holidays, no one prepared med student Sabine Kennedy for Christmas in Alaska. Mesmerized by endless miles of pristine snow, she's downright enchanted by the dark-haired homegrown men decorating the vast snowy landscape of Claw Ridge. Especially one Tyrone “Rone” Wylde. Nothing got a Southern girl's heart racing faster than an amber-eyed man with a voice that could strip panties off in a Christmas blizzard. He’s 100% werebear and she’s 200% willing to try new adventures as long as it’s purely physical.

Naked and challenged to the local winter tradition of the Rum Run within ten minutes of touching down, Sabine has two choices—freeze or get moving. Heat of the mating season was long over, but the second his brother's sister-in-law rolls up with a feisty attitude and enough sass to melt the polar icecaps, Rone is hit with the fever to claim. As the owner of the only bar and bakery in town, Rone also needed all the help he could get. It is a win-win in his book.

When a hidden force strikes out, the fun holiday times are over as the past tears away more than the spirit of Christmas. Dragons, black magick, and murder taint the deeply traditional town so many hold dear. Sabine is forced to face her fears head on and if Rone can’t find a way to chip away at her tough façade to find the soft heart he knows she guards, he’ll lose her forever.

Author Bio 
Talina Perkins is a bestselling romance writer of steamy military and paranormal romance books with fast paced plots, strong heroines who are always up for a challenge, and kick-ass alpha heroes.

Born and raised in Mayberry USA, this small town country girl spread her wings at the young age of fourteen and moved to Mexico where she's lived for the past eighteen years. High on adventure and loving life, Talina now resides in sunny Puerto Vallarta with her four children and is married to a U.S. Recon Marine-her very own smokin’ hot hero.

By day she works as a cover artist and by night she spins her creativeness into intricate webs of words.

Connect with Talina: 

Bear for Christmas
Amy Lamont 
Release Date: December 13, 2016 

Shy and introverted Ivy Quinn has psychic abilities she’s only beginning to understand. Sheltered by her father most of her life, she never questioned his use of her skills to further his business interests. But when she finally realizes exactly how he wants to exploit her abilities, she has no choice but to run.

Out from under her father’s thumb, Ivy’s self-confidence grows along with her psychic gifts. She uses them to stay one step ahead of everyone her father sends to hunt her—everyone except the sexy bear shifter who is relentless in his pursuit. But now that she knows the truth about her father’s plans, the last thing she wants to do is go home for the holidays. No matter how hot the werebear tracking her might be, she’s determined to evade him. Even if the rugged shifter is making her wish for something she can never have.

Bounty hunter Cole Jackson is a legendary predator, even among werebears. His talents make him the perfect choice to head up the bond enforcement division of Ursus Security Solutions. But when Ivy’s file lands on his desk, he takes one look at her and thinks Christmas just came early. She might just be the fugitive he wants to capture and keep for himself. Can Cole keep Ivy safe and help all her Christmas wishes come true?

Author Bio: 
Amy Lamont writes contemporary and paranormal romance about quirky heroines and hunky heroes. Over the years she's had some jobs she loved (working as a program coordinator for a non-profit animal rescue), some jobs she liked (freelance writing), and some jobs she hated (her experience as a waitress has turned her into the excellent tipper she is today). But nothing gives her greater joy than writing romances that pack an emotional punch and come with a guaranteed happily ever after.

Amy lives in New York with her husband, twin daughters, and two rescue mutts. She loves chatting with readers.

Connect with Amy: 

A Christmas Spectacle to Bear 
Jennifer Hilt 
Release Date: December 6, 2016 
Paranormal Private Investigator Lea Riley guessed finding the murderer at the Icy Cap casino before the Christmas Eve spectacle would require some grit. Already she’s deep undercover leading a troop of burlesque elves who hate her shifter guts. Lea is not retuning to Brooklyn without showing her overprotective brothers she’s wasted doing surveillance back at the family PI biz.

Physician Caleb Kerzak is out to prove himself too. He’s an ice bear shifter determined to be the new chief of staff in the Icy Cap Emergency Department. As a former foster kid and casino magician, Caleb wants a fresh start. But when his best friend’s little sister and former one night stand turns out to be his new temporary roommate, Caleb struggles with leaving his past behind.

Soon Lea and Caleb battle their scorching attraction along with secrets, vampires and a cerebus determined to ruin Christmas. Will our couple discover two heads are better than three or are they doomed to spend Christmas alone?

Author Bio: 
Jennifer Hilt writes paranormal romance and urban fantasy. She loves romantic suspense featuring tails, wings and fangs. Her paranormal shifter Icy Cap Den novellas, part of “Alaskan Den Men” multi author series, are now available. An excellent procrastinator, Jennifer is always happy to visit with readers. 

Connect with Jennifer: 


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