Monday, February 13, 2012

Death by Chocolate Tour Guest Post By Suz Korb




Because Kate’s Death by Chocolate Cake is so diabolical and highly inappropriate as a Valentine’s gift, here’s a list of top 5 Valentine gifts you should never give to the one you wish to woo…

5. Guys, never give your significant other / love interest / desired hot-date appliances of any kind. We’re talking blowdryers here too. Such a gift screams “your hair sucks, fix it”. Number one no-no appliance to give as a Valentine’s gift: a vacuum cleaner. Don’t even get me started on how a present like that won’t win you Valentine’s nookie of any kind whatsoever.

4. Girls and boys. Never give your significant other a last minute gift. You know? That old Valentine’s card from the gas station you picked up on your way to meet your fancy-pants love interest. A card from a pit-stop is most likely 10 years out of date and your boy/girl friend will get the impression that you just don’t care enough. Talking of bad last minute gift ideas…

3. Also don’t give dying flowers as gifts. I realize all flowers are dying from the moment they’re chopped at the stem. However, there are different levels of floral wilt. Don’t grab a last minute single rose wrapped in plastic from the same, or even a different gas station, as the place where you purchased that out of date card, which is so old it’s yellowing at the edges. This kind of insensitive Valentine’s thoughtlessness  smacks of a wilted sense of effort on your gift-giving part.

2. Socks. This goes for both girl gives to boy and boy gives to girl gift giving. Don’t give socks. Not even if they are novelty Valentine socks with little hearts and sweety messages on them that say “be my Valentine”. Socks in any form are from your mother for your birthday or Christmas. Socks are neither cute nor romantic and won’t win you Valentine’s points in the dateable scoring department.

1. And finally, the number one bad Valentine gift has to be the one you got for a five-finger-discount. That’s right, I’m talking about stolen goods as a Valentine’s present. Don’t do it. Don’t become a thief just for the sake of giving the one you adore something special. It won’t be so special when the authorities find out and the cops show up on your girl/boyfriends doorstep, ready to haul them off to jail for your screw-up.

Okay, now for the list of good gifts to spread the Valentine’s love…

5. Valentine Coupons. Girls, make coupons for one free date, holding hands, and if he’s lucky a coupon for a kiss!

4. Chocolate. Win!

3. Flowers. To girl from guy. Can’t go wrong with roses!

2. Guys, make your girl a handmade card and write her a love poem inside. Trust me, she’ll adore this no matter how cheesy and rhymey your poignant words may be!

1. Jewelry. For guys and girls. NB: not stolen jewelry like in “bad gift number 1”. Criminal gifts are a FAIL not a WIN.



Death by Chocolate- The paranormal young adult anthology with a cocoa twist.


Back in Time by Stacey Wallace Benefiel
Nothing in Aurelia Lemon's life is turning out how she'd planned. She's unemployed, unattached, and her family bakery is on the verge of closing. To make matters worse, the guy she dumped in high school is doing well and getting rich off of one of her departed mother's recipes. It would take a miracle to right everything she's done wrong. Or maybe just a phone call and the chance to go Back in Time. 
Sweet Witchery by Cheryl J. Carvajal
Catalena is only one of many dreamers in a small medieval town in Romania. When the witch Ramnusia opens her chocolate shoppe, suddenly dreams turn into reality. The chocolates are divine, but their power is greater than their sweetness. Miracles abound, dreams come true, and Ramnusia's magic confections become the talk of the town. But if these chocolates can make dreams come true, will they win for Catalena the deepest dream of her heart? 
Spellbound by Nikki Jefford
Two months after dying, Graylee Perez wakes up in her identical twin sister, Charlene’s body.
As the daughter of a witch, can anyone blame her mother for attempting to bring her back to life? Only now Gray’s stuck sharing her sister’s body 50/50 in 24 hour shifts.
The race is on for Gray to find a way back into her body before Charlene purges her from existence.
Warlock Raj McKenna is rumored to meddle in the black arts, not to mention he’s after Gray’s invisibility spell and worse – her heart. But Raj might be the only one powerful enough to save Gray from fading away forever. 
Bloody Valentine by Lucy Swing
One by one the girls of Hollow High disappear and when Bailey receives a heart-shaped box filled with chocolates she might be next.
Sweet Torture by Kira Saito
Sixteen year old Claudia Bernstein is obsessed with two things: chocolate and Dante Torres. However, being an invisible minion to Upper East Side princess Beatrice Wildenbert isn't helping her get anywhere with her dream guy.
Everything changes over Christmas break when Dante actually starts noticing her.
But are Dante's intentions as pure as they seem? When Claudia finds herself in the middle of a cruel prank, she decides to take revenge. But is revenge enough? Or will she finally realize that her own worst enemy is herself?
The Girl with Three Heads by Suz Korb
Kate wakes up on the morning of the Death by Chocolate fundraiser event to discover she has two extra heads resting upon each of her shoulders. She is not pleased about this. She's even more displeased when she discovers the head on her right shoulder (which looks like Santa Claus, complete with fluffy white beard) is actually Zeus, lord of lightning, or something like that. The head on her left shoulder? Yeah, it's the head of Hera; goddess-of-looking-like-a-blonde-bombshell and getting on Kate's nerves by shouting in her ear all the time.

Will Kate ever rid herself of these two extra heads? Will she ever get to experience an actual kiss from a boy without extra-head-situation interruptions? Join Kate as she struggles to survive being flung into the Underworld, as well as eventually landing upon Mount Olympus.

Just because she's got two extra craniums doesn't mean either head is an extra set of useful brains.


Author Bios

Stacey Wallace Benefiel is the author of the Zellie Wells trilogy, the Day of Sacrifice series and The Toilet Business, a collection of essays. She lives in an orange house in Beaverton, OR with her husband and their two young children. For more information about Stacey and her other works, please visit her website: http://staceywallacebenefiel.com

Cheryl Carvajal goes by the name Shakespeare at her two blogs: http://creativeartsanonymous.blogspot.com/ and http://notwritinganythinganymore.blogspot.com/ You can also contact her by email at shakespeare824@hotmail.com Over the last decade she has ventured into YA writing. She has three degrees in English, teaches Zumba and works on her writing with help from her husband who is president of Bainbridge College, Georgia.

Nikki Jefford is a third generation Alaskan now residing in the not-so-tropical San Juan Islands with her husband, Sébastien, and their Westie, Cosmo. She is the author of Entangled. Visit Nikki at www.nikkijefford.blogspot.com

Lucy Swing is a mother of two and a wife to a Firefighter/Paramedic. She is the author of the upcoming paranormal YA romance novel "Feathermore". She is a Goodreads author and you can find out more about her writing endeavours on her website http://www.LucySwing.com

Kira is a magic junkie and loves writing YA paranormal romances. Some of her heroes include: Jack the Pumpkin King, Willy Wonka, Larry David, Princess Jasmine, the vampire Lestat, Andy and her Maltese Costanza. You can email her at kirakatwritingservices@gmail.com and you can find out more about Kira on her website http://kirasaito.blogspot.com/

Suz Korb loves comedy. She also loves magic. She loves, loves to inject these key elements into her paranormal stories. She also loves, loves, loves cereal and eats way too much of it whilst novel writing. She’s an expat of the USA now living in England, a mother of two and the author of The Bedeviled Trilogy. To find out more about Suz Korb’s books visit her website at www.suzkorb.com

Enter for a chance to win one of three ecopies of Death By Chocolate. That means three winners!



Ends 2/20

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for hosting a stop on our Valentine's tour!

    ReplyDelete

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