Sunday, January 3, 2016

Journal #41- Sabotage

So I've been trying to get back on the wagon and I feel like people are sabotaging me every step of the way.
I know I shouldn't but the last few times I wanted to workout I haven't because DK complains the treadmill is too loud or made me feel self conscience when lifting. I don't think he's actually trying to sabotage me, at least not consciously. I mean part is me... I am responsible for what goes in my mouth and if I workout or not.
But for example Wednesday was a co-worker's last day at the plant. This woman was my supervisor when I first started and someone who I consider a friend. We had a small luncheon for her, a few of the girls brought in pulled pork, rolls, with mac salad, and baked beans. Then had cake, ice cream, cookies, and fudge. I had one pulled pork sandwich, a small amount of mac salad and baked beans for lunch then my usual protein bar snack. A bunch of the girls asked me why I didn't eat more or have any of the cake and ice cream. When I said I'm watching what I eat. I get the usual, "why, you're so skinny?" or "You don't need to count calories."
This isn't unusual, I have one co-worker who is constantly offering me food, mostly unhealthy options.
I don't really blame them, I mean they aren't concerned with what they eat and just don't see the point. Unless a person is overweight, they don't need to concern themselves with eating right and exercising. At least this is how it feels when they talk to me.
Family members tend to say, "you're too skinny, eat something." or "oh my goodness you're so tiny." It seems because I'm thin it goes to reason that I can eat whatever I want and never put on weight. Wrong!!!
I'm in my thirties, I've popped out two kids... my metabolism isn't what it used to be. When I don't keep at it my weight starts jumping around, and it's not cool.

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