Friday, May 26, 2017

Journal: Healthy Eating Sabotage

As I sit here wolfing down an entire bag of Brownie Brittle I can't help but wonder what the heck am I doing. I'm trying to get back on track, I want to eat healthier, I bought the bag of brownie bits to be my splurge. I told myself that after yesterdays binging I was going to be good. I had been good all week, having everything planned out and ready to go. Then I get to work Thursday and one of the girls had brought in doughnuts for everybody. I know I didn't have to eat them, but she had gone to Tim
Horton's and bought enough for everyone. I didn't want her to feel bad. After work we went grocery shopping, I was good... the Brownie stuff being my only unhealthy splurge and then that wasn't really bad bad. But of course no one had eaten dinner and by the time we'd gotten done running around it was almost 8 o'clock in the evening. Everybody was hungry and we got Burger King. Now I wouldn't feel to bad about this if we hadn't gotten Chinese food last week. Or I hadn't eaten a huge bag of gummy bears, or I hadn't eaten an entire box of Pasta Roni by myself for dinner one night. You see where this is going right?
I keep sabotaging myself. It's my own fault, I can't blame anyone else. It's not like they held me down and force fed me. I know I should grab an apple instead of chips, yet I don't. I know better. And while I'm baring my soul here, let me add that yes some of this is stress eating. Again I know this isn't good for me, yet it doesn't stop me from eating an entire thing of ice cream or drinking a whole bottle of wine.
So I'm going to try and do better. I've got healthy stuff to eat and now that the Brownie Brittle is gone, I have no more sweets. I will get back on the wagon, now I just need to find some motivation to get exercising again.


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